So much to update on, so little time. Crazy to think that a year ago we were praying for our frozen embryo transfer to be successful (official transfer date was 12/30/15), and now here we are with two beautiful babies, empty wallets (and stomachs! there is no time to eat!) and full hearts.
I went back to work. I chose to go back to work. And even with my super awesome, understanding, mom-friendly employer, it is hard. Really hard. Especially when hubby is out of town and I am the sole drop off / pick-up from daycare, feeder, diaper changer, bather, rock-to-sleep-er, wake up in the middle of the night-er, nurser of sick babies, cuddler.
I am under the impression from my few coworker friends (outside of my department) who do have children that this is just how it is. The collective advice I have received is “just accept the fact that you will have absolutely zero free time for the next six months or so” and “once you accept that that is your life now you will feel (better)”. Hmm. Okay.
Also, I am suddenly the uncool “old” person in my department at work now (I’ll be 32 in January). I came back from maternity leave and feel like my younger, childless coworkers are just sort of like “oh well that’s nice (awkward pause)” whenever I talk about the babies, or sleep deprivation, or anything really going on in my life. You wake up one day and you are the uncool older coworker, WTH.
Overall, things are going good. I do not regret my decision to go back to work (it’s only been two weeks). The babies still love me even though I am not with them all day every day (a constant nagging fear I have always had about being a working mom). They caught their first, second, and third head colds (illnesses) back to back over the course of the past three weeks and we are getting through it (much easier getting through it on the nights dad is home to help though!). Hubby and I still manage to find time (and babysitters) for dates on occasion (once every couple of weeks).
Skylar giggled for the first time two days ago (at least I tell myself that she did it with me first, not daycare). Jacob’s neck bump checked out to be something even more benign than originally believed (and is virtually disappearing). They are already growing out of their six month clothes and are only 15 weeks old! About 70% of the time they sleep through the night (8:00 or 9:00PM to 4:00AM ish…unless they are sick).
I am working on getting into a weeknight routine with them to make all of our lives easier. Prepping bottles (we have twenty two bottles – and it never seems to be enough since I have to constantly have eight to ten of them ready to go for daycare), laying out daily outfits and pajamas for the week, load after load of laundry and dishes…
Do I still cry at least once most nights when I am on my own with them? Yes, two hands just is never enough to change / feed / hold / prep for two of them (note, I have been working on planning ahead and asking for help from friends & family at night / before bed time when hubby is gone and this proves to make a world of difference). Would I trade any of it for the world? Never.